its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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