My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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