From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
