I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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