even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
