dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
