Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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