I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
