not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
