the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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