She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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