He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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