My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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