i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
