no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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