You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
