i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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