Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
