In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize