Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize