grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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