Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My liver just broke up with me...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
