I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize