to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
