i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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