But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
