Banned from zoo.
Again?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize