So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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