I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
