week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
