I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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