The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
