I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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