Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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