I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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