So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
