just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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