I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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