Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
