the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
