hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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