im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
