i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
