Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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