The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
