she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
