You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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