Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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