Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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