I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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