Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
