Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
