if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize