best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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