We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize