Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
