its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
