made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
