i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I deserve this hangover.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize