mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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