Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you guys were way drunker than both of me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize