Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
