Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
