the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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