he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
