i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
