i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
