Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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