Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
