i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
