what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
