; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
