He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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