yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
