Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
