You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
