We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize