so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I touched a dick in church today
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
