He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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