Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
