Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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