the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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