He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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