We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
