well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize